got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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