Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
