He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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