his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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