Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
