We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
