is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
