If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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