i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
