I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
