are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
