Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
