Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Green mimosas i think yes
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
