whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
