You work out of a Hotel?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
