Non-Jews are for practice
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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