im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
