if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
