i'm signing you up for texting rehab
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
