ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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