Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Someone came in the potted fern
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
