Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
