things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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