i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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