Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
