Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
