When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
