oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I got inside last night via doggy door
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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