Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
