Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Tornado booty call.. dedication
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize