ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
