Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
