I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
