Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I think I sprained my soul last night
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
