You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
found the other keg... it's in the tree
did i walk over a car last night?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
