6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
