when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
