Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
