is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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