Define "chronic" masturbator.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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