im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
