if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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