I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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