I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
