She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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