Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
