fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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