my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
