Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
