wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
