Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
