That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
