My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
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