she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
